Dear Twins...

Dear All Members of the Minnesota Twins team,

This letter is geared towards all the Twins players that are hitters. I have some beef for you. Dick and Bert have been doing a "what's my beef" and here is mine. You have to stop swinging at every frickin' pitch! You are not required to hit the ball pitched at you. There is a reason that in the rules of baseball there are BALLS and STRIKES. Each one of you hitters is given 4 FREE pitches! That means that if you take the first 2 pitches, you, at worst, have 2 strikes and at best you have 2 balls. If you have 2 balls you are half-way to a free base. That's right. I don't know if anyone told you that. YOU ARE HALF WAY TO A FREE BASE! I think the only two player on the ENTIRE Twins team that seems to have grasped this concept are Justin Morneau and Joe Mauer. In the first month of play they have over 1/3 of the walks. That's right 1/7th of the team has 1/3 of the walks. THAT IS NOT RIGHT.

Here are the following Twins that have 1 walk or less in the 1st 30 days of the season:
Michael Cuddyer
Adam Everett
Mike Redmond
Brian Buscher

Here are the following Twins that have 2 walks in the 1st 30 days of the season:
Carlos Gomez
Nick Punto

And Here are the Twins that have 3 walks in the 1st 30 days of the season:
Mike Lamb
Mike Tolbert
Jason Kubel
Craig Monroe
Denard Span

And to make all you Twins feel bad:
Nick Markakis on the BALTIMORE ORIOLES has 22 walks in the 1st 30 days of the season.
Albert Pujols has 28 walks in the 1st 30 days of the season.

My point to all you Twins. WALK! DON'T swing at every pitch! Do you not understand that for every walk you earn I have a team of people who are donating money to the Susan G. Koman 3 day walk?! Do you not understand that your walks are helping find a cure to breast cancer?! I have read Ball Four so I know exactly how much baseball players like boobs. So, in conclusion, if you are a Twins player, and you like boobs then don't frickin' swing at the pitch!! AND for the love of G-d if you have a 3-1 count DO NOT SWING AT THE BALL UNLESS YOU KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO HIT A HOMERUN!

Love,
Laurie

To all other's ... I managed to walk 3 miles on the treadmill and not see any strange people.

Total Twins Walks as of 4/29/08: 54
Total Cubs Homeruns as of 4/29/08: 28